Mother’s Day
Another Mother’s Day without you. It’s hard avoiding all the happy posts, a bit like Christmas really. Another reminder you’re no longer here. Lots of beautiful memories of Mother’s Day past, the burnt toast and strong tea, the cuddles, the laughter. Calum gave me the biggest cuddle this morning, as though he felt he had to cuddle me just that bit longer for you too. Every day since you left I’ve felt like I don’t deserve the title of mother. How could I be a mother when you died. I know its the grief and the despair at losing you that makes me feel like this, but still, every day I have the same thought that if I’d been better at the job of ‘mother’ you’d still be here. That’s the reality of suicide. Every person that truly loved you will have at some point wondered if they’d done something to upset you in those days leading to your death. Every conversation, every text will have been gone over in their heads thousands of times. I know I do. I wonder if I’d gotten ready quicker a...